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Fortune Cookie

Random quote from a rather large and eclectic database:

A ranger was walking through the forest and encountered a hunter
carrying a shotgun and a dead loon. "What in the world do you think you're
doing? Don't you know that the loon is on the endagered species list?"
Instead of answering, the hunter showed the ranger his game bag,
which contained twelve more loons.
"Why would you shoot loons?", the ranger asked.
"Well, my family eats them and I sell the plumage."
"What's so special about a loon? What does it taste like?"
"Oh, somewhere between an American Bald Eagle and a Trumpeter Swan."

The date according to the Discordian Calendar:

Today is Pungenday, the 32nd day of Confusion in the YOLD 3183

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